i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
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