He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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