yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
