you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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