Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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