last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
