is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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