Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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