Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
