what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
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