but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
