What a fucking waste of an outfit
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
