Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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