i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
