Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I'm sobbing to NWA
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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