Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
