haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
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