I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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