is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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