**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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