please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize