Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
