Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
