So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
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Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
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Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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