What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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