dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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