If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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