i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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