i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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