Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
