tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Drake has all the answers
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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