He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
