I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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