It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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