i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
