For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
