Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
