That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Randomize
