its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
