That's intense
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
