Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Randomize
