Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
