we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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