Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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