Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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