The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
