$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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