i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Randomize
