Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
