Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
