i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
