I'm so fucking centered right now
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
