he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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