their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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