i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
nutella sex= disaster
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
