i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
