I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
