i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
BRING THE BAGELS
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
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