We're facebook friends in real life
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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