so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize