real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
