I'm lost and stupid without you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
