My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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