the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
