i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
